Boring but Essential Practicalities

There is so much to do before you can start functioning in another country.  Well, that is if you want to do it all legally and above board.  Luckily Paul was familiar with most of the systems although most of it has now been computerised which you would think makes the whole process easier but it doesn’t.

I deal below, in no particular order, with mobile phones and internet, tax file numbers, Medicare cards, bank accounts and ambulance cover.

I'll start with ambulance cover.  If you need an ambulance to transport you to hospital you will be charged. The fees start at around $2000 but no doubt there will be optional extras like treatment and oxygen which can escalate costs to mammoth propotions.  Annual cover costs about $40 per person and so should be arranged and then you can happily proceed in the bizarrely futile (but oddly accurate) basis that, as you have cover you will not need an ambulance for as long as cover is in place.  You do, of course, realise that the minute cover expires and you momentarily forget to renew, that you will fall headfirst in front of a bicycle, knock yourself out, and be transported to hospital by ambulance incurring a huge bill.  Obviously, we haven't yet sorted that out yet, so live in permanent fear of accidental injury.  It is on the list...

In order to purchase a SIM card you must remember that you need your passport (or other suitable photo ID) before a retailer will allow you to leave the shop with one.  This requirement is in order to prevent terrorism (and using that word will no doubt attract lots of nice people back in the UK and the States to read my blog artificially inflating the numbers leading me to believe that people are actually interested in what I have to say).  The general consensus in Australia seems to be that it's all done in an attempt to feel part of the international war on terror but how providing your passport is going to help I really don't know and neither, it seems, does anyone else.

Tax File Numbers are very easy to obtain and we were helped on this score by a very nice man at the Tax Office in the CBD.  He was very friendly and could not have done more.   On the same day we collected the forms for Medicare and, once again, the lady on the desk was incredibly helpful, explaining what we needed and that it would probably be easier to put us both on the same card. 

Sadly the same lady wasn’t on duty when we returned to the Centrelink office with, we believed, sufficient documentation to prove Paul’s intention to remain in the country.  The person behind the counter on this occasion could not have been more unhelpful, rude, and condescending.  She was also fat and ugly and we remained at the desk for less than a minute before Paul simply got up and walked out.  To stay a minute longer would have required him to exhibit restraint that was probably unreasonable to expect in the circumstances.  This was one of the first times we had experienced this kind of treatment in Australia.

We did eventually successfully register for Medicare at a different branch of Centrelink.  This allows us to claim back fees for doctors appointments and access to reduced prescription charges.

We opened bank accounts in our first week and were called back so often in the first few days that we were practically on first name terms with every member of staff at Westpac St Kilda South branch.  We half expect invitations to weddings and christenings we spent so much time in the branch.  In fact, I’ll be mildly disappointed if we don’t as they do have our address after all.

Paul also applied for his ABN (his business tax reference) and this arrived swiftly and efficiently.

Paul also exchanged his UK driving licence for an Australian one but it wasn’t enough to visit VicRoads, you have to visit VicRoads, pick up an application form which you then complete, make an appointment for 3 weeks time and return.  However, this is now done and he has his new licence.

The bureaucracy here is something to behold.  Paul wasn’t wrong about that.  People are (mostly) helpful but appear obstructive because of the red tape.  It is very frustrating and I can’t see the Wooky embracing that part of the culture any time soon.  In fairness, even I find it a little extreme.

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